A major reason for my transition away from electrical and into teaching, or at least for the timing of it, was the birth of my son. Raising him has been phenomenally more challenging than I imagined. I do not know why I felt like I knew what to expect from fatherhood. I had interacted with parents and children for my whole life of course, speculated on what makes good and bad parenting, met good and bad kids, heard ample parenting advice, philosophized to a point where I felt like I had some idea. I did also work with kids enough to get an idea of what they are like. Nothing prepared me for parenthood though.

I sat sitting up most nights, my son tucked between crossed legs because he wouldn’t sleep in his crib, positioned so that if I nodded off I would jolt awake. I played on my old Nintendo DS from 9pm until my wife tagged me out at 1am. I slept for six hours, went to work, and did it all over, for months. He was so cute though! So exhausting. I had heard it called “the hundred days of hell” by a friend in Calgary. Accurate.

Reaching milestones is very exciting. Every little achievement, every little change, is cause for excitement and celebration. Smiling for the first time, scooting, crawling, walking, running; it’s all magical.

It physically altered my brain, noticeably. For the first month, every noise sounded like a baby. My memory is worse, I am more emotional, I am more observant, I frequently think of my child. Grumpier? I might be. Maybe that’s just part of getting older.

As I turn to education it gives me a new appreciation for the reality of sending one’s child to school. I have fretted over my son’s safety for most of his life. I still remember the advice I received on CPR for babies: “the success rate is about twelve percent, so don’t count on this working and call an ambulance.” I still prefer to operate with accurate information, but also, that is not reassuring. In raising kids we realize both that they face many threats and also that we have limited options in mitigating those threats. If we do remove all threats then our kids don’t learn independence, if they suffer harm we feel guilty, and no matter what we do there will be someone out there shaming us for it. I haven’t sent my son to school yet, but I am certain I will have trepidation around doing so. I am also excited! It’s a new set of milestones, a time of making friends, a time of constant learning.

I don’t have it in me to hate any child, so much of what they do and experience is beyond their control. (I do have it in me to be very annoyed but that’s unavoidable.) People are too quick to hate on young people. I also don’t have it in me to judge parents (outside of abuse situations.) I get why parents give devices to their kids. I get why parents have anger and anxiety. I get why parents are sensitive about what their children learn in school and why they feel offended or threatened when they don’t have access to that information, or feel caught off guard by it.

I am a new parent and a teacher in training, and I am still not clear on what our curriculum’s approach is to 2SLGBTQIA+ education. I approve of the fact that we are trying to combat bullying, and I understand that we don’t strictly regiment what is taught or represented because we want it to be organic, but also, I should really have a more clear idea at this point. When we demonize parents and label them homophobic (and yes there are homophobic people out there) for showing any hesitance towards SOGI I think we miss the chance for growth and community. I imagine the response is “you should educate yourself!” Fair enough, but also, teachers need to realize the benefit of making info as clear, concise, and visible as possible, especially where SOGI and sex ed are concerned.
SOGI 123 | Making Schools Safer and More Inclusive for All Students. (sogieducation.org)
After narrowing in my search and going through two broken links I found my way back to the SOGI123 website. The page has a lot of useful resources and answers a lot of common questions. On the subject of “what will my student learn in the classroom?” it indicates that the curriculum is set at the provincial level. Going to the BC curriculum…
Curriculum | Building Student Success – B.C. Curriculum (gov.bc.ca)
…the home page does not contain any link or menu option for SOGI information. I was able to find my way to a page by searching “BC SOGI curriculum:”
Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity (SOGI) in schools | BC Gov News
A page that assures me that this is included in the curriculum, which is unclear given that there was no mention on the original page. It does assure me that all information is “grade level appropriate.” (The SOGI123 parent’s guide also just says “age appropriate.”) It does not tell me what that is, and I haven’t found any guide elsewhere on what that is. Are people afraid to give specifics? Does everyone assume that this is all very clear information? It isn’t, it’s very clear that everyone is being vague. I do lack perspective on the LGBTQ experience and I’m sure there’s reasons for how information is laid out, and I’m sure a lot of work has gone into it. What I do have is the experience of a parent with limited time and info, and if we are trying to reassure parents on what SOGI is and isn’t then I’m saying that we are failing. Everything is so siloed in today’s day and age and I’m not convinced that any meaningful dialogue is happening across the lines of division that we have created.

Which is where I come in I suppose. I didn’t intend to go on a rant about lack of clarity in SOGI but I keep hearing people on one side or the other demonstrating a clear lack of understanding of others. I do hold myself responsible for providing SOGI content in the classroom and am not washing my hands of it, but I would like to approach it with greater empathy for those who have trepidation and misgivings. We will see how it goes.